I Came Back from Thailand

Riding the shuttle, sleepy-eyed, cranky, and Thailand-sick, I had 2 1/2 hours left of this journey from the Atlanta airport to the middle-of-nowhere Alabama.

I couldn’t hold it back while sitting with two of my friends telling me of baptizing upwards of 50 people that summer in the waters of the Philippines. When expectant eyes turned to me ready to hear my relaying of all God did that summer for us, all I could choke out was, “We prayed and prayed for so many. And we didn’t see anything.” And then tears began to roll down my face. This was one of the first times I allowed myself to cry for that summer. Two months there, and I really didn’t allow myself to feel the things I was holding so deep within. None of us did.

I vaguely remember the 12 hour plane ride home, journaling and scratching out these angry prayers, ones filled with so much confusion and hurt. “God, why?” seemed to be the over-arching theme of the words I actually did let out.

And at debrief in Alabama, even other teams whispering gentle, “Are you okay”s. We were learning how to put into words what we had experienced that summer, when we could barely muster the ability to speak at all.

I’ll never forget one of my friends even a month later asking if I had ever really “come back,” and I told him no, expecting that one day maybe I would. That right now something was horribly wrong, and it could all just go back to exactly how it was before. Until my best friend reminded me it’s okay if I never do fully come back. That experience shaped me for the rest of my life. And it’s okay if I never was the same again.

_______________________

The day God spoke to me the most in Thailand was around half-way through, a month in. I remember learning a whole awful lot about prayer, and as one of my teammates and I were walking down the street, I was telling her all about it. How God was teaching me to pray specifically, boldly, and He was teaching me about my authority before the throne. How He was using Philippians 4:6 to teach me how to plead and petition and make my requests known. How to truly and intentionally pray for these women we loved with our whole hearts. And she told me how she was learning the same.

That was a marker moment in the summer, as all four of us starting praying with more fervor and fire, begging our Father for the lives of people we had grown to more than adore.

I remember standing on the roof of our little apartment crying out to God for Him to just please save one of my friends I was about to meet with.

All of us in a circle just saying the names before the Throne of all the people we had met and learned to love.

Writing them all down on a piece of paper we kept all summer, that we kept adding to, and kept praying over relentlessly.

We prayed like we never had before.

But for a reason that is beyond my understanding, we never got to see any of our friends come to know the one true God.

And I came back, knowing I was angry and confused, but not even understanding the extent of that.
I stopped praying. No, I still talked to God. But not with passion. Not with impossible requests. Not with absolute trust.

I allowed this to go on for months, and months turned into a year. And I can’t believe it’s been a year.

The Lord really began to get my attention on this back in July. I was in Guatemala with some of my youth, and one of the mornings I was sitting at the breakfast table before anyone else was awake. I was reading Isaiah 6:

In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one called to another and said:

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts;
the whole earth is full of his glory!”
And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke.  And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!”

Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for.”

Isaiah’s Commission from the Lord–
And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here I am! Send me.” And he said, “Go, and say to this people:

“‘Keep on hearing, but do not understand;
keep on seeing, but do not perceive.’
Make the heart of this people dull,
and their ears heavy,
and blind their eyes;
lest they see with their eyes,
and hear with their ears,
and understand with their hearts,
and turn and be healed.”
Then I said, “How long, O Lord?”
And he said:
“Until cities lie waste
without inhabitant,
and houses without people,
and the land is a desolate waste,
and the Lord removes people far away,
and the forsaken places are many in the midst of the land.
And though a tenth remain in it,
it will be burned again,
like a terebinth or an oak,
whose stump remains
when it is felled.”
The holy seed is its stump.

The first part makes us feel all warm and fuzzy. “Here am I. Send me.” We plaster it on every missions site and showcase it on every Lifeway coffee cup.

Yes, Lord. Send me. Send me! 

But how often do we (I) miss the next part, as if it isn’t even a part of the chapter? “Keep on hearing, but do not understand. Keep on seeing, but do not perceive…” I don’t see that on any posters.

And while I cannot even begin to understand the richness of His knowledge and sovereignty, here’s what I get most from this chapter: Only HE holds the power to open or shut eyes. And although my thoughts and prayers and feelings are precious to Him, He alone holds the power to make the blind see.

How dare I?

How dare I question His motives or His goodness? When He is the One who gave me the very breath I was yelling at Him with in the first place. When He is the One who formed my heart to yearn for the unreached. When I was made in His image and His heart breaks even more than mine for the depravity of the world.

Speaking of Guatemala, our very first day of ministry there, I saw a man, broken from this world, living in a village, no ability to walk…see grace for the very first time, cry out to the Lord for the very first time, go from completely blind to seeing with new eyes, death to life. 

On the very first day. And tears rolled down my face, as I was hit with the realization that it is by Him and for Him and through Him alone.

Ever since July, I’ve been slowly coming back. No, not to the person I was before Thailand because I could never possibly be the same. But coming back to the eyes of prayer I had seen with before.

We have this authority, brought forth by our Great High Priest, who took on the sins of His children and with it took the shame too, who tore the veil top to bottom so that we might boldly approach the Throne of Grace.

And this is my humble promise: Even if everyone I ever pray for never has opened eyes, I will still declare His goodness.

-Ashley

Read more about Ashley's journey on her blog: www.ashleynicoleyates,wordpress.com

I don't know if I'm "called" to missions... but I'm going

I have been chewing on these thoughts since mid-August, coming home from another country which claimed my heart, after experiencing the hardest most beautiful summer I have ever endured.  

I feel hesitant to call this blog an explanation; but maybe it is. And I am okay with that. I desire to convey and condense my thousands of thoughts on this subject in one blog to answer the questions it seems I’ve been given (and even been asking myself) for months now. This is my confusion, my back and forth, my journal entries, my crying out to God for answers, and these are the answers it seems He has given me. 

First, let’s define a few things. 

Called

If I am being totally honest here, I have grown to really dislike this word, and maybe this is because of its usage and possibly misinterpretation in Christian circles.
 
The day I became a Christian is the day I became a disciple, a missionary, a teacher of the Word, a devout follower of Jesus to the ends of the earth. So imagine my confusion being a part of many different ministries and hearing that someone has recently been “called to the ministry”, “called to be a missionary”, etc. 

Wait.
That’s a separate calling from becoming a follower of Christ? 

We find in Matthew 4, Mark 1, Luke 5, and John 1 the calling of Jesus’s first disciples. He calls them and it says immediately…immediately they follow Him. It isn’t that somewhere along the way of following this Messiah they finally come to the realization that they were called to do what they were already doing. It started in the moment they got up and left what they were doing, their families and loved ones, their own hopes and dreams. Of course, they messed up. A lot. The disciples are known for getting a bad reputation in obeying and understanding Jesus while He was in their very presence, but they still followed. All bets off, all decisions made in simply standing up and following Him the first time He called. The ministry is not reserved for only special Christians. 

I was called to the ministry the day my eyes were opened and I realized my need for a Savior. I was called to share and live and die for this faith the moment I found the Truth worth sharing and living and dying for.
And so were you. 

In a flood of nostalgia, I am back in the place where God broke my heart for the voiceless, unclaimed, hopeless, destitute, orphans of the flesh and of the Spirit. I’m back on the dusty prayer room floor scribbling out a journal entry I am still going back to to this day. It’s where I wrote to my God that I would follow Him anywhere and everywhere, no matter the cost, no matter the sacrifice. 

To get to this place, God didn’t have to come down riding on the clouds and in a thundering voice command me to be obedient. Three years ago, I realized the need to experience and share with another people, so I went. And when I saw it face-to-face, when I stood in a crowd of hundreds who had never heard, when I found friendship in the most unlikely of places and the hopeless became dear to me, I knew I could never be the same. My perception of a calling could never be the same. 
I could never just come back and live the American dream, hoping to finish college, get married, have kids, live comfortably and attend church two to three times a week, waiting to see if this God would awake me in a dead sleep and in a booming voice tell me that He wanted me to be a missionary in another country.
And I’m convinced this rarely, if ever, happens.

Going
Let’s just define this as “doing”—putting effort forth, trying, making plans and waiting for God to say no. 

Wait. What?

So many believers are so quick to say they are “willing” to go, but they are only making plans to stay. This doesn’t really add up. What if we were planning to go, but only willing to stay? Meaning we make every effort to go, to take this News to those who have never even had a chance to hear, knowing fully that God is sovereign, and that if He in fact wanted us to stay, He would stop us. 
Now we get to the sticky part. Does God need us? To which, I strongly say absolutely not. He’s God. He holds all the power. I have not a single doubt that Yahweh could take the Gospel to every nation without us and fulfill the beautiful picture of Revelation 7:9 where every tribe, nation, and tongue is before His throne. But that might be the utter beauty of this life and my purpose. 

I get to open up my mouth as He opens His lips to whisper His redemptive story over His beloved Child for the very. first. time. I’m not sure why anyone would want to miss out on that. 

It might mean not getting married, or not getting married to the person you always thought. Or not getting the job you have dreamed about since you were 6. Or seeming like the “rebel child” of the family. Or having to explain yourself over and over to your family and church, the people who should understand. But I know one thing for certain: It is worth it because He is worthy.

In Acts 1:8, He commanded all of His children to take the Gospel to every place. I see thousands upon thousands of Christians here and none in so many places. So I am going to try. I plan on being strategic and intentional with this life I have been undeservedly given. I am planning to get to a nation(s) that has never heard of the hope I possess. I am planning to apply to seminary, to get a masters degree, so that I can apply through the IMB, to do everything in my power to obey, knowing fully that if that is not His plan, He will surely disrupt my plans and stop me. And that’s where I’m only willing to stay.

I do not have some special call that God has given to His chosen few. There are already too few going as it is. 

Okay so I know that not every single believer is supposed to go and live in another country. But I do know more people should be going than who are, simply because of the statistics of thousands of people groups who are not only unreached, but unengaged.
 
Nobody is even trying to take the Gospel to them. 

So, to answer the questions of my family and friends and anyone who has been confused about my plans: I have no idea what I am doing or what my future holds.

I’m just going to follow Jesus with every day. That might mean spending my whole life in another country and dying there. It might mean never stepping foot on foreign soil again if that is His plan. Or it might mean years in the U.S., years in a dangerous country, back to the U.S. for months, following weeks with an unengaged people, to Mexico, to the Philippines, to Thailand, to China, to Iraq, to North Korea, to Antarctica, back to the U.S. 

I’m just going to try. 

Because just like you, I have been called.

-Ashley

Read more from Ashley's blog at  http://ashleynicoleyates.tumblr.com/post/101625595101/i-dont-know-if-im-called-to-missions-but-im-going

The Real Enemy

I didn’t know disgust until I looked into the eyes of one of my friends’ “customers”.
I didn’t know hate until I was with one of my prostitute friends, and I watched in horror as a man purchased her for the evening and led her away from me mid-conversation. 
I didn’t know disappointment until I sat down on the dirty sidewalk to chat with one of our beggar friends knowing he is hungry, while men are paying to use human beings right. next. door.
I didn’t know shock until I realized the real enemy is not what I thought.

These scenarios put fury in your hearts…I hope.
Witnessing them has put me in a speechless state over and over again.

But I didn’t realize until getting dinner with a prostitute and one of these men that he isn’t the enemy, all of these men are not the enemy.

If I am being honest, I wanted to hate him.
And if I am being even more honest, I have hated some of them.
I have snarled and commented and all but killed some of these men with my eyes. And I regret to say that it wasn’t until two days ago that I really understood the battle God has been fighting alongside us all along. 
You see, the enemy is one you hate with your whole being. He’s the one you despise to your very core…
Who knew that at the end of dinner with one of these perceived enemies, I would be smiling at the very one I wanted so badly to hate? 
I couldn’t even look at him at first.
The very example of the type of person I had been hating for two months.
And instead of a frown or a roll of my eyes, I couldn’t even look at him.

I didn’t want to know he was a human being.
But God had a funny way of changing all of our hearts the other night as we talked with this man over Thai barbeque and chatted over politics and religion and everyday, normal things.

He is just lost. He is just in need of salvation. He is just searching for love.

Just like I did before I met the Father. 
That night my hate was directed more appropriately.
It’s satan.
He is the real enemy.
And he is the only enemy. 
That was our last night to walk down Loi Kroh, and for the very first time, I saw that road very differently.

I saw poor, lost women…and instead of seeing the monsters I had been accustomed to seeing, I saw poor, lost men.
I felt a new urgency to look them in the eyes. To know that they are not the enemy. To know that this battle I have been fighting hasn’t been about them at all. And to know above everything else, this victory is won.

The prostitutes we made relationships with this summer—their stories are far from over. And I can say with full confidence, and now with hope, that these men’s stories are far from over.

Because love has won this battle.

-Ashley

Leaving

​Two months ago, I walked down a strange, dark street for the first time. The people were all just unknown faces, the bars and massage parlors looming and unfamiliar. I heard a foreign tongue calling out to customers, and music blared, adding to the confusion and overstimulation. The evil on the street was felt, overwhelmingly.

This week, I walked down that street again, each pothole and curb familiar now. Every few feet, I would stop at a familiar shop to hug a friend at a massage parlor or chat with someone I had shared with in one of the bars. I passed by disappointed when some of the girls I met were not there, wishing I had been able to see them one last time. The darkness was still there, but somehow, it did not feel as strong.

This summer, much prayer has been poured out on that street and over the people who live there. Friendships were formed, connections were made, but most importantly, the gospel was shared. I think that's why the darkness seemed a little less. Light had come into the darkness. Truth and love had been shared. And try as it might, the darkness cannot overpower it.
Leaving is always painful. We see the lostness, the souls still in need of saving, but we have to leave. We have shared with so many that are close to salvation but who we did not see respond. And we may never know this side of heaven whether or not they accept God's gift of salvation. All we can do is pray and trust they are in the hands of the Father. 

This last week has been a reminder to me that that is really all we can do. We can be obedient to share, but we do not bring anyone to salvation. But The Lord was here long before we were. He was working in hearts and preparing encounters for us to share and to draw people to himself before I ever considered coming to Thailand. Then, He was with us as we walked the streets and shared. He put people in our paths, He helped us to share, and He moved in people's hearts. Best of all, He will not leave Chiang Mai when we do. He will still be here, seeing all the pain, the injustice, the bondage, the sin, and the shame. Hearing every cry and prayer, loving every broken heart and searching soul. Reaching out to all who seek Him, and drawing lost souls to salvation. I leave knowing that the work is not finished but it is in the hands of the One who will bring it to completion. Is it easy? No. But I believe God is still working here, and I look forward to seeing (even in heaven) the ways He used this summer for His glory.
 
Please pray for our team for safe travel home and for us as we personally process all we have seen and heard.
Please continue lifting up the women we have shared with. Their stories are not over yet, thanks be to God!
 
Sawadeekha
-Taylor

Lessons from Esther

One of my teammates showed us a song this morning, and it's kind've become the theme song for the remaining nine days we have in Thailand. It's called "Take Back" by Will Reagan and the United Pursuit. Here's a link to the song if you wanna listen: takeback. Some of the lyrics are this:

"For how could He who did not spare His own son not freely give us victory against the darkest of nights? We're gonna take back all the enemy has stolen!

We're gonna plunder the pits of hell-and it's in the blood of the One who's worthy."

I couldn't find a better way to put into words of what this summer has consisted of and what our prayer as a team is that these last nine days will be. This land is heavily under the control of the god of this age. But praise the Lord his hold is not permanent and can be (and will be!) taken away by our mighty Savior! 

God has been using the story of Esther to rock my world this summer. I've begun to realize that as a daughter adopted by God, I have the same stance as Esther did before the king. 

Esther decided to go before the king to tell him her request to save her people, which was a HUGE deal in that time if you had not been personally summoned by the king. There were only two options: 1) the king accepts you and extends his golden scepter to you so that you may approach him, or 2) you die. Esther didn't know how she would be received, but she went anyways. As she entered his throne room, he welcomed her gladly, he extended the golden scepter to her, and she approached him and touched the tip of it! Even more, he says to her "What is it, Queen Esther? Whatever you want, even to half the kingdom, it will be given to you!" [esther 5:3] Indeed, she gave him her request, and answered it fully with a joyful heart. 

Wow. We have that position before the King of Kings! He extends His scepter of grace to us, and says "Whatever you ask, it will be given to you!" And He is true to keep that promise. 

Our team has claimed that promise boldly. We have asked for specific things, and He has given us exactly what we've asked for. We've prayed boldly that God would give us the power and the opportunity to take back what the Enemy has stolen. And He has been SO faithful. If we ask for God to give us the power to fulfill His will, which is to draw every man and woman unto Himself, He will not say no. He will never deny His children who are seeking to fulfill His desires! 

Sadly, this summer we have not seen any come to repentance. Yet. But, we still have 9 days here, and we will not shut up sharing the Gospel until our plane lifts off the ground. Nine days doesn't sound like much time to take back this land the Enemy has stolen, but Jesus raised Himself and conquered death in only 3, so I figure He doesn't see 9 as much of a challenge.

Please join us in prayer as we finish up our time here in Thailand. We are striving to spend every second we have left here to be spreading the Gospel or to be laboring in prayer for the people we have shared with/people we want to share with. Ask the Father to please grant our pleas to see the Thai people and the women we work with come to Christ.  

Pray for many more opportunities to share Truth with these people, and that the 33 people who have already heard the Gospel already may come to follow Christ! 

Pray that God will sustain me and reignite my flame to share the Gospel daily, even though rejection sometimes makes me want to remain silent. I know in my heart of hearts that God is not finished with these people yet, and that they will be drawn unto Himself. The Enemy has stolen what is not his, but sadly for him we're here to take it back for the One who is worthy. 

Waiting expectantly,

Kristi

I want to know more!

​"I want to know more! What you told me last time made me feel good inside!" As Nang spoke, the excitement poured out of her face. She had been grinning from ear to ear from the time she saw us coming from across the street. We sat down to get pedicures, and she and three other women sat down with us. She repeated again and again how she wanted to know more, and one of the other ladies joined in, saying she had met some Christians and learned a little but she wanted to know more. Their faces shone with eagerness.

My teammate started sharing her testimony, and they all watched her so fixedly. Customers and other distractions made it a little difficult, but we were able to share none the less. 



The next afternoon we went back and shared again with Nang. We asked her about what she remembered from the first time we shared with her. She immediately told us how much she remembered from the story of creation to Christ but said she was confused about the story of the father with two sons. This time with a translator, we told about the prodigal son. She related before we even pointed out the application! She asked about sin and when sin is unintentional. She told us she wants to be able to forgive freely instead of holding grudges. 

We went back to share with her more one morning, going through scriptures with her. Our translator would read and show her in the Thai Bible, and then we would ask her the meaning of what we just read. Time and again, she told us exactly what the scripture meant. She understands that we are all sinners. She knows who Jesus is and that his death paid the price for our sin when he died on the cross. The only thing she is stuck on is grace. She does not understand that we do not "do good works for Jesus" to be saved. Her whole life she has been told she has to earn merit at the temple to make up for the bad she's done or try to earn better karma. She sees good works as the way to be saved, and she knows Christians do good things. She is struggling to understand salvation based on faith, not works.

When she was asking us about this, Ephesians 2:8-9 came to mind. We shared this scripture with her, and after we read it, she told us she wants a Bible: a Thai-English Bible. She wants to read and study the Bible! We are going to bring her one tomorrow and keep pouring into her. She is so close-if only she could see that our good works are as filthy rags before a perfect and holy God, but that when he looks at us he sees Jesus--not because we are perfect like Jesus or do enough good to look like him, but because Jesus took on our sins on the cross so we could be freely given salvation.

Please pray for Nang. She is so interested, so passionate about learning about Jesus and the Bible. She wants to understand, and the Holy Spirit is working in her heart. Please pray that the veil of Buddhism and works-based salvation will be removed and that she can see grace as a gift from God. Pray for the Spirit to speak to her as she reads the scriptures for herself. Pray for her to see love in us, and pray for it to be God speaking through us when we share with her. 

Nine more days to share. Nine days to pour out Christ's love in the bars and massage parlors and amongst the lostness. Nine days to see how The Lord will answer our prayers. Nine more days, expecting to see God move in awesome ways!

-Taylor

P.S. Talk about how awesome our God is, the day after Nang asked us for a Bible, we taught an English class with some short term volunteers. As they were leaving, one of the girls look at me and said, "By the way, would ya'll need any Thai bibles? I have some that a friend sent me to give away but we're leaving tomorrow." How incredibly sovereign is our Father in heaven!

Meet Angkhana

Four years ago, Christ pursued this beautiful lady and wrecked her life for Him. Her testimony is incredible. She grew up Buddhist, like the majority of Thai people. After losing her business, her husband and her parents all within a year- she had hit her lowest. But Jesus changed her heart and gave her a new life. Her hope is now in Him, not in the circumstances of life. Since then, she has started her own ministry out of her home. She lives right in the middle of the red light district, with an open door for girls to come and seek refuge. She cooks with them, plays with them, mentors them, and is a listening ear. Though she lives on very little, she is the most generous person I have ever met. She spends all her extra money to buy baking supplies in order to cook with the kids. She also has an incredible passion for ministering to Burmese refugees. She often makes long journeys to take cookies and cupcakes to them and to share about Christ's amazing love. Her light shines all the more brightly in this darkness.

My team and I have had the privilege of getting to know this incredible woman and teaching a class twice a week with the kids in this area. We have been able to teach English and Bible stories to these children. I have loved every minute of it.

-Lindy

The Victory

As we walked down the street filled with karaoke clubs and bars, I struggled to smile as I followed three precious young girls to a vacant parking lot.

Because as we were walking from their homes to go play badminton, the club owners were turning on their lights. The bar tenders were setting out alcohol. The pimps were outside waiting for customers. The girls that work the clubs were putting on their makeup.

As we walked I felt the darkness: the depth of the sin sickness, penetrating even into these girl’s childhoods.

And I see what the enemy has stolen. Children’s innocence. Women's dignity.

Little girl's dreams of one day wearing white and walking down the aisle to marry their prince charming, become dreams of the foreign man that just bought them for the night coming back and being their boyfriend and caring for their children. Their customers become their only hope of redemption from this lifestyle.

And its so obvious.

We pass by with these young girls, going to just spend time with them. Giving them attention and love that they rarely, if ever, receive from home. The same parking lot that we play in will soon become the same lot that the van loads of foreign men will park in. They won't stay long, only long enough for a drink and to pick a girl, then they load up the vans with them and return to their hotels.

This sight is the norm for these young girls. Though they are so young, they know. How can they not? The backyard they should be able to play in without a care is instead the enemy's playground. He's stolen it, corrupting everything good.

But He didn't stop there. He's stealing their childhood friends. Girls their same age. Other little girls who should be out there with us, playing and giggling, instead are putting on their makeup and high heels- being dressed to pass as much older than their age, though they are only 13.

As we hit the birdie back and forth, this is the reality.

This is their reality.


But God isn't done yet. He hasn't forgotten them. He hasn't turned His face.

He knows. He sees. He is El Roi. 

And He is pursuing them.




Though we only have 9 days left here in Thailand- we are expecting God to do big things. We are desperate for God to save the people we have invested in. We are begging the Lord to break the chains and to set these girl's free from bondage, not only physically but spiritually. I have faith that He can and will do far more abundantly than we could ever ask or imagine.

This morning my team listened to a song that perfect culminates what this summer has been for us.

You can listen here: Take Back, United Pursuit


"I know God has not forgotten
All that's lost and broken
So, come and see the turning of the times
Come and see His sons and daughters rise
For how could He who did not spare His own son
Not freely give us victory 
Against the darkest of nights

We're gonna take back
All the enemy has stolen

We're gonna plunder the pits of hell"


That's exactly what we're doing- plundering the pits of hell. Going into the darkest of nights and trusting that He has already won the victory. 

For His glory, 
Lindy

THE light shines in the darkness

The night after I met Mar, the Christian woman at the massage parlor, we went back downtown to do more follow up and try to meet and share with new people. Still on a spiritual high from the night before, I was not completely prepared for the darkness that awaited us. 

The particular street we witness on regularly is always dark, but that night it seemed even more so. Almost overwhelming. Not only was the evil visible, but it was felt. With everyone we spoke to, there seemed to be a presence of darkness. One woman we met told us that she reads the Bible and likes Christianity, but she cannot become a believer because she has to keep going to the temple to make merit for her deceased father. Our whole team left feeling discouraged. Strange how a defeated enemy can make the appearance of victory. But "we do not fight with the weapons on the world. On the contrary, ours have the divine power to demolish strongholds" (2 Corinthians 10:4). There is a stronghold of evil here: in the false religions, in the spirit worship, and in the sin that is everywhere. But when Jesus came into the world, He shattered the darkness with the light of his glory. Our little lights now are just taking that glory into the corners where the darkness thinks it still reigns.

We told one of the amazing missionary women we work with about the intense feelings of darkness, and she offered a perspective I had never thought of before. When we go in, we feel the darkness. But what about the reverse? When we walk down the street, can they see light in us? Does the darkness feel the bright light of Jesus as we enter the bars? I believe it does, and the gates of hell tremble because "the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness had not overcome it" (John 1:5).