I didn’t know disgust until I looked into the eyes of one of my friends’ “customers”.
I
didn’t know hate until I was with one of my prostitute friends, and I
watched in horror as a man purchased her for the evening and led her
away from me mid-conversation.
I didn’t know disappointment
until I sat down on the dirty sidewalk to chat with one of our beggar
friends knowing he is hungry, while men are paying to use human beings
right. next. door.
I didn’t know shock until I realized the real enemy is not what I thought.
These scenarios put fury in your hearts…I hope.
Witnessing them has put me in a speechless state over and over again.
But
I didn’t realize until getting dinner with a prostitute and one of
these men that he isn’t the enemy, all of these men are not the enemy.
If I am being honest, I wanted to hate him.
And if I am being even more honest, I have hated some of them.
I
have snarled and commented and all but killed some of these men with my
eyes. And I regret to say that it wasn’t until two days ago that I
really understood the battle God has been fighting alongside us all
along.
You see, the enemy is one you hate with your whole being. He’s the one you despise to your very core…
Who knew that at the end of dinner with one of these perceived enemies, I would be smiling at the very one I wanted so badly to hate?
I couldn’t even look at him at first.
The very example of the type of person I had been hating for two months.
And instead of a frown or a roll of my eyes, I couldn’t even look at him.
I didn’t want to know he was a human being.
But God had a funny way of changing all of our hearts the other night
as we talked with this man over Thai barbeque and chatted over politics
and religion and everyday, normal things.
He is just lost. He is just in need of salvation. He is just searching for love.
Just like I did before I met the Father.
That night my hate was directed more appropriately.
It’s satan.
He is the real enemy.
And he is the only enemy.
That was our last night to walk down Loi Kroh, and for the very first time, I saw that road very differently.
I saw poor, lost women…and instead of seeing the monsters I had been accustomed to seeing, I saw poor, lost men.
I
felt a new urgency to look them in the eyes. To know that they are not
the enemy. To know that this battle I have been fighting hasn’t been
about them at all. And to know above everything else, this victory is
won.
The prostitutes we made relationships with this
summer—their stories are far from over. And I can say with full
confidence, and now with hope, that these men’s stories are far from
over.
Because love has won this battle.
-Ashley