This past summer, I resided in the
Philippines for two months. It was tough, I was gross most of the time,
but it taught me how to love. The lessons I learned were also tough
and gross. For example, I learned how to hand wash five people’s
laundry (even the good stuff, such as undies) in a river before 6:30 AM.
I learned how to rub out stains to the point of blisters and keep
smiling. I learned how to hop from boat to boat; this lesson was a
little harder as I took a tumble into the river a time or two and got
some pretty sweet bruises.
I learned how to cook white rice, almost
to perfection courtesy of some awesome translators. I learned sleeping
off the ground isn’t actually necessary for a good’s night rest, because
“sweet is the sleep of a laborer, whether he eats little or much (Ecc
5:12a).” But more important than all these physically challenging
lessons, Jesus met me to show some pretty extravagant lessons. These
were lessons I thought I learned, and maybe I had. Maybe Jesus just
needed to refresh my memory. That’s the thing with Jesus. He can
refresh your memory, and it is a whole new experience, refreshing and
sweet. His lessons are sometimes bitter to the taste, but we continue
to taste until we eventually get to the sweet. Here’s some of the
sweet.
God knew who I was when He called me
to career missions. I’ve known that. I’ve come to terms with it. But
it is a little harder to believe when your heart’s desire is wicked and
you can’t seem to bear another day sharing the gospel. This lesson was
given to me about three weeks into my time there. The same schedule,
the same people, the same Bible study. I was so sick of it. I was so
sick of being dirty and so sick of those I was ministering to. I felt
they “didn’t deserve the gospel.” They despised us, so I felt I could
despise them back. It was here that I began to hear whispers, untrue
whispers. “If you’re called to missions, how are you already weary of
opposition? You’re only 2 weeks in, and you can’t wait to pack your
bags and grab a 14 hour flight. It’s pitiful, really. You say you love
Jesus and want to make Him known in a cross cultural way, but it’s
clear you’re not cut out for this.”
One night after thinking this over a couple of days, I questioned God.
How is it that I am called abroad, but I can’t bear going
to yet another Bible study. God, am I really supposed to commit my
life to this? If I can’t handle three weeks, how can I handle years? I
understand you’ll be there, but I think we got our wires crossed
somewhere. I think you actually said I’m called to do a lot of short
terms. That sounds right. You’ve just been silent for so long.
Here is an excerpt from my journal detailing how God was faithful in His word to bring comfort.
This place is so miserable, but we have been motivated by
it to continue only through His strength. God has taught me several
things in this baranguy. 1) I need to soften my heart towards those
I’m around. In Matthew 13 Iv’e been reading the parable of the wheat
and the weeds. I must be okay with growing alongside those who will
never accept Him until the day of reaping. 2) I must be diligent.
–from the parable of the unleavened bread and the yeast. A small amount
of yeast takes a lot of work to work through the flour, but after it is
done thoroughly will rise all the bread. 3) I don’t need to
understand why I’m not as “spiritual and bold” with those in Bible
study. I’m Mark 4:26-29, I’ve learned we don’t know everything, and
seeds grow because that’s what they’re made to do. I need only have
compassion and be diligent in my work for Him as this persecution will
probably continue.
Now how does that secure that I’m to
continue on in the hopes of becoming a long term cross cultural disciple
maker? Because God taught me those things in such a beautiful way. I
was by a beautiful, slow moving river as the sun set. My hunger was
satisfied with rice and soy sauce. I heard the breeze shiver its ways
through the palm trees as I heard God speak. But where was He speaking?
On the other side of the globe. “My sheep hear my voice, and I know
them, and they follow me.” I’ve never heard a voice as clearly speak
into my soul as I have heard Jesus’ when I struggle. If Jesus’ voice is
made plain to me on the other side of the globe, that is where I will
follow Him. If Jesus’ voice is made plain to me down the street, that
is where I will follow Him. His voice is the compass to navigate the
map of uncertainty, and personally His voice calls from across the globe
asking me to follow. His hand stretches from across the ocean to reach
me in my need and one day I must trust His arm to carry me across that
ocean. Then His hand will reach from down the street to guide me, all
the while making disciples as I go.
God confirmed my calling abroad, but He
continues to confirm it each day in the way He has molded me to love
adventure. It’s in the way He is teaching me to make disciples of Him,
not of doctrine or morals. His disciples are made from love, and He
shows me more about love each day than I can even detect.
-Destinie
Read more from Destinie's blog: https://chasingdestinie.wordpress.com/
When Jesus called His disciples to come and follow Him, He called
them to come and die. They could no
longer "erase" or "unlike" what became unpleasant or
difficult. Virtual discipleship was out
of the question. It still is. The Bible says in I Corinthians 6:19-20,
"You are not your own; you were bought with a price." 
