Times of Disillusionment

"There were times of disillusionment. God had to break through the glamour surrounding the name missionary and make me real. He had to show me myself as I really was, not as I pretended to be. I had to learn to accept myself as He accepted me, and therefore to accept my colleagues as He accepted them, but in the process there were some dark months. There came a time when enthusiasm waned, and I came to realize that enthusiasm alone, apart from faith, was insufficient to complete the job. There came the time when the very vision dimmed, and God had to show me that even vision alone, apart from faith, was insufficient to keep me going. There came the time when the highest aspirations seemed illusory, when companions and colleagues all seemed willing to settle for something less than the highest of which we had dreamed, that we had glimpsed, and that fired us to throw away all else for its realization. It was as though cold water was poured all over the 'flame of sacred love on the mean altar of my heart.'" (Dr. Helen Roseveare, Living Faith)

-Jessica
Urban Rescuers Team, Bangkok